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Wax

by talker

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1.
If there's a god I'm talking to him now Don't think I ever learned to shut my mouth But lately it seems like the floors are giving out Never thought I would beg to hit the ground In the sky, I am small Would you please break my fall? Wish that I'd hit the wall Would you please break my fall?
2.
Keep Me Safe 03:22
The clock is ticking down Like a hammer to my skull And I can't stop it now It's like the harder that I pull The shorter every minute seems Counting til the moment that you leave My body pressed down flat All my weight on the minute hand But when it finally snaps Who knows where I'm gonna land Floating in your memory I'm not as weightless as I seem I just want you to be happy But I don't know where that leaves me Yeah I just want you to be happy But I don't want you to leave me You've got a storm to rage But I'm still locked outside And you can't slow your pace So there's nowhere I can hide Thunder when your engine starts Washed away, I'm torn apart I just want you to be happy But I don't know where that leaves me Yeah I just want you to be happy But I don't want you to leave me Who's gonna keep me safe when you're gone? Who's gonna keep me sane? Who's gonna keep me safe when you're gone, when you're gone, when you're gone, when you're gone I just want you to be happy But I don't know where that leaves me, leaves me Yeah I just want you to be happy, happy, happy I don't want you to leave me
3.
Days slip away When you leave them on repeat Stay wide awake Cause I’ve forgotten how to sleep And I’ve been keeping quiet What has silence done for me Poison in my oxygen But now I’m coming clean So I’m kicking and screaming Blue in the face from keeping it in, yeah I’m finally breathing Bottled it up, but I’m learning the feeling Stop, turn it off All the static in my brain ‘Cause every time I take control I watch it slip away And I’ve been keeping quiet What has silence done for me Chokin’, baby’s broken But I’ll give you every piece So I’m kicking and screaming Blue in the face from keeping it in, yeah I’m finally breathing Bottled it up, but I’m learning the feeling I’m learning the feeling Swallow my words, burning my mouth Can’t feel a thing, keeping ‘em down Swallow my words, burning my mouth Can’t feel a thing, spitting it out So I’m kicking and screaming Blue in the face from keeping it in, yeah I’m finally breathing Bottled it up, but I’m learning the feeling
4.
Bad News 03:21
It’s a moment Nobody sees On my own while My thoughts get the best of me And I don’t know what time it is right now My heartbeat is slowly counting down I know we got shit to talk about Can never pin you down I’m Waiting in the dark Waiting here with nothing to hold onto Don’t know where to start Or what it’s gonna take for me to reach you But I’m already gone I’m already gone Didn’t wanna wait to hear the bad news You’re the pavement I’m gonna hit Should I jump right now or Wait until my fingers slip And I don’t know what time it is right now My heartbeat is slowly counting down I know we got shit to talk about You won’t say it out loud I’m Waiting in the dark Waiting here with nothing to hold onto Don’t know where to start Or what it’s gonna take for me to reach you But I’m already gone I’m already gone Didn’t wanna wait to hear the bad news Give it to me straight I don’t need anything to chase The pieces of your mind Ready for the shoe to drop I don’t know why you put it off You’re out of time But I’m already gone, I’m already gone Not Waiting in the dark Waiting here with nothing to hold onto Don’t know where to start Or what it’s gonna take for me to reach you But I’m already gone I’m already gone Didn’t wanna wait to hear the bad news
5.
Suck Up 03:14
My eyes are bigger than my appetite allows I wanna give myself, but someone else comes out I try to impress you, give my best attempt But you would never know it cause I'm still such a mess So there's no way I'm not a mistake I'm a suck up to myself Wish I was someone else Face to face I try to erase But I'm a suck up to myself And I'm nobody Another new disguise, versions of a theme I try to figure out my name but it's symbols I can't read I try to dissect it, I hold every piece But everything's different, nothing I can keep Slip through my own fingers, can't seem to connect I know it's not right but just let me pretend So there's no way I'm not a mistake I'm a suck up to myself Wish I was someone else Face to face I try to erase But I'm a suck up to myself And I'm nobody I'm a thousand versions of myself when I wake up And I don't think any of them will ever be enough I'm a thousand versions of myself when I wake up And I don't think she's ever gonna tell me I'm enough So there's no way I'm not a mistake I'm a suck up to myself Wish I was someone else Face to face I try to erase But I'm a suck up to myself And I'm nobody
6.
Cover up my face It’s hard to hide They all know my name But don’t let them inside Shattered the glass, I’m cutting my feet The party’s not on ’til somebody bleeds Couldn’t you go easy on me? I don’t abuse You break into My personal space I try to get by, what’s left to take? Voices in my head I’m sinking deep Easy to forget My thoughts and what I believe Well maybe I’m tired of being myself Didn’t think I’d ever know how that felt Couldn’t you go easy on me? I don’t abuse You break into My personal space I try to get by, what’s left to take? My mind’s not safe My thoughts they race And I’ve been comfortable just living in last place No words get out Cause you’re too loud I don’t abuse You break into My personal space I try to get by, what’s left to take?

credits

released March 6, 2020

(c) Common Ground Collective

Photo by Niles Gregory
Artwork by Maria Fulan

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talker Los Angeles, California

Telling the truth is hard. It’s also liberating. On her debut album, talker (the alias of indie rocker Celeste Tauchar) isn’t keeping any secrets.

talker has released 3 EPs to critical acclaim, receiving nods from NPR Music, Stereogum, The A.V. Club, Billboard, and more.

She's releasing her debut album this summer, with new single "Easygoing" arriving February 21st.
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